How to overcome your shyness: Effective techniques

Shyness is surely the evil that affects most of us. It is more or less exacerbated depending on the person and the situation. But it is very common and has a strong nuisance power. Overcoming your shyness is therefore essential. Discover  effective and foolproof techniques to help you do this.

I am sure you have already experienced one or more of these situations. When you walked into a room full of strangers and suddenly had that awkward, weird feeling. Or that moment when your heart was pounding hard because you wanted to ask someone out on a date, but were too shy to do so. Or when you wanted to approach someone on the job, or just a phone call away, but were too hesitant to do so.

Or even that anxiety felt deep inside you during social situations. Do you constantly have that feeling that something is holding you back from doing what you want or feel like doing?

We can all experience a sense of shyness at some point. But when it becomes recurrent, a source of discomfort and inner suffering, then it is no longer a simple passing feeling. It is an evil that you must overcome. We often tend to believe that only introverted people can be shy. But this is not true. Being an introvert doesn’t mean being shy. And being outgoing doesn’t mean not being shy.

Shyness is more about being uncomfortable with yourself when you’re around other people. I don’t think people are born shy. In fact, it is a bad attitude that we adopt little by little during our life, often following painful social experiences. If shyness is a problem for you, then you are probably looking at how to stop being shy. You can relax because there are tips and techniques that can effectively overcome shyness.

Why do we sometimes be shy?

It happens to all of us in different ways and to varying degrees.

It is not here to list all the causes of shyness. However, the main cause can boil down to one of the following reasons:

  • Low self-esteem

This is especially true for our high school experiences. It has been mistakenly believed that our unique qualities are not interesting, cool, or worthy of anyone’s admiration. We were able to try to adapt to everyone and not feel like we were ourselves.

  • Too much self-concern

When we are surrounded by other people, we become extremely sensitive to what we are doing, as if the spotlight is on us. It creates anxiety and makes us question our every move. Our concentration revolves around ourselves and in particular on “what we did wrong”. It can lead to a destructive spiral.

  • Putting in a box

By putting in a box, I mean accepting to wear a label that defines us. When you label yourself as a shy person, you feel psychologically inclined to meet the expectations that come with it. In particular “I’m a shy person, so it must be true that I’m shy. I am like that and things are as they are”. When we label ourselves this way, we must meet the expectations that this implies. I have experienced these different types of shyness at various times in my life. Through awareness and practice, I overcame these obstacles.

The following techniques have helped me overcome this feeling of unease. I have no doubt that they will help you too.

Overcome your shyness: 4 basic principles

But before I see these techniques and tips, I want to start with 4 basic principles.

They could be part of the techniques and tips discussed below. But as each of these techniques is optional, these 4 principles are mandatory and unavoidable.

You can choose among the techniques the ones that suit you best and build your personal toolbox. But you cannot choose some of these principles and let go of the ones you don’t like.

Be patient and persevering

To overcome your shyness, you must not skip the steps. We have to take it slow. Getting good results can take several months.

Yes, I know, you certainly didn’t expect such a trick. And that’s definitely not what you wanted to read. But it is the reality. And I don’t want to lie to you.

Overcoming shyness is a realistic goal and an achievable mission. But it can take a long time. Like any work on oneself. Not to mention the relapses you might experience and the drop in morale or motivation.

Act gradually

Don’t expose yourself to the situation that scares you the most. You will only increase the trauma and make the journey even longer and harder. Proceed in successive stages, putting yourself in a situation that worries you a little.

For example, if your fear is public speaking, don’t go to a conference overnight. Start with a small, informal presentation at work, in front of a few colleagues. 2 or 3 will do.

Slowly, by trivializing these situations that worry you a little, then gradually increasing the difficulty, you will be able to speak in public. Or any other social activity that today seems inaccessible to you.

Be kind to yourself

I will repeat myself. But you are bound to experience relapses or drops in morale or motivation. It’s normal. It happens to everyone, regardless of the project we are embarking on. Be indulgent and take the time to take a break. Then leave.

Understand your shyness

Seek to understand what kind of shyness is unique to you, when and how it manifests in your life. Try to figure out what situation triggers this feeling. And ask yourself what is worrying you right now.

It is daily and regular work that awaits you. But the efforts are worth it, to be released and significantly less stressed. You can overcome your shyness by enrolling yourself with a great platform known as onebeststudy.


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